The Pod System and You

Soccer games, like the world, can be very confusing. Rules. Substitutions. Another team that is trying to score goals. Luckily, we have "The Pod System" to guide us through the swirling chaos of the forthcoming Rotten Rockin' Raleigh Soccer Showdown (or whatever it's called.)

What is "The Pod System," you ask? How can it make my life better? It is a brilliantly conceived simple yet complex strategic system. It will make your life better in every way. I am on vacation and can spend time dreaming up crazy shit.

Here is an easily digestible summary:

Pod: A grouping of one to two players that always play and sub in and out together. If your pod buddy is in, you are in. If your pod buddy is out, you are out. If your pod buddy gets injured, you injure yourself and go out. If you are the only person in your pod, go in when you are in and go out when you are out. (see One-Person Inter-Switching Anti-Pods, below)

Anti-Pod: A pod with which you switch, subbing in and out. If your anti-pod is in, you are out. If your anti-pod is out, you are in. You need to communicate and cooperate with your anti-pod. Determine who will play which side of field, etc.

One-Person Inter-Switching Anti-Pods: In some cases, there is just one person with whom you switch in and out. Hard to screw that up.

Pod-Switching: Pod-switching should take place every 10 to 20 minutes. Cooperate with your anti-pod on the timing of this switch. Be flexible. Rotters get tired, sometimes after 60-90 seconds of running.

Exceptions-- Spanish people beginning with "A" will play approximately 75% of the game: Alberto will play entire first half, floating around at will with defensive bias. Aner will play entire second half, floating around at will with defesive bias. The non-full-time "A" player will be in the special Pete Pod. This way, Pete doesn't have to play very hard, or well. But he will help out when needed.

Keeper Pod: Only one keeper is allowed. Zubi first half, Aly second half. When not playing keeper,Zubi/Aly will be in the Hamza Pod, as central forwards.

If someone doesn't show up: Entire system crumbles.

Forwards: Eric and Charles are One Man Inter-Switching Anti-pods, at wings. (Ed-Sue) and (Hamza-Aly/Zubi) are Anti-Pods. Remember: you are like ninjas.Middle: Alberto all first half. Aner all second half. Pods are (Pete-"A" person) switching with (Kate-Mike). Danica and Will are One-Person Inter-Switching Anti-Pods on wings. Remember: you are like ninjas.

Defendors-- Jim and Jacob are One-Person Inter-Switching Anti-Pods. (Jeff-Sarah) and (Lou-Chuck B) are anti-pods. Remember: you are like ninjas.
Got it? Feel free to email questions to: IHaveAStupidQuestion@gmail.com . Thank you for your time.