Rotters Speculate On Meaning Of Cap'n Mike Post

Rotter nation is wracked with speculation this mid-holiday morning, after a cryptic blog post from Captain Mike Carpenter (see below.). Captain, like Koatx and Jesus, is known to communicate in parables, forcing the Rotter faithful to work hard to expunge the true meaning.

This Rotter believes Mike was giving us the answer to the oft asked question-- "If a Rotter falls on the field, and there is no one there to listen, what sound does he/she make?"

But the meaning, as always, is shielded frm our weak minds, as is the meaning of the word "expunge."

Update From Captain Mike

"asdefsadfasdf"

Rotters Enjoy Bluegrass, Beer

Several Royal Raleigh Rotters were in attendance for Mug Night at the Pour House last night.

Gathered around the eastern quadrant of the bar area, Rotters Farquhar, Khalifa, Williford, Osten, Alphin, Zubizuretta, Clemmons, and special guest Rotter-in-Exile Reuer hefted giant plastic mugs of beer while enjoying the fine musicianship of Chatham County Line. Two Rotter wives were also in attendance. Holiday cheer was evident.

Clemmons reported coming into work an hour late this morning with a pounding headache. No word as yet on the condition of other mug-hefting Rotters.

The Fix Is In! - Old Europe Rigs World Cup Draw

Groups for the 2006 World Cup were "drawn" on Friday, revealing a Germano/French conspiracy to prevent the United States from advancing. The US (FIFA world rank 8) has to play the Czech Republic (#2) and Italy (#12). Meanwhile, Germany, who are #16 in the world, are the highest ranked team in their group!

In a similarly odd outcome for a "random" process, France drew the mighty nations of Togo (pictured above following their qualifying victory earlier this year), and Switzerland, whose strict neutrality policy prevents them from trying to score.

Then on Saturday, FIFA shocked and puzzled the soccer world by announcing that host Germany will be allowed to play by "Rotters Rules." These were said to include: the ability to use your hands anywhere on the field after calling "goalie"; the privilege to take cigarette breaks every 7 minutes; and a cryptic provision called "Zubi offsides immunity."

Khalifa Out for Spring?

Keeper Aly Khalifa is rumoured to be considering sitting out the Spring Rotter season. According to unnamed sources close to Khalifa, he has cited "prior commitments" that will prevent him from keeping up with the rigorous Rotter practice regimen and game schedule. However, these same sources have divulged that he is actually suiting up for another popular Spring sport -- beer funneling. Khalifa has declined comment. In a photo recovered from a top-secret funneling practice, he is seen above being coached to excel at his new sport of choice.

Mucous a Theme at Sunday Practice

Since the Rotters didn't have any tapas parties to cook for, dog bites to stitch up, or water polo matches to play in, the soccer scoundrels decided they might as well play futbol this Sunday. In addition to the usual ritual of attempting to put the ball in the goal, an informal booger-blowing contest took place. Charles won, with Jeff's patent "farmer hanky" taking a close second.

Could've been great, but......

Building on a post-game conversation at MoJo's:


5. Could've been a great soccer player, but he was drunk (George Best )













4. Could've been a great president, but he was drunk.









3. Could've been a great Irish poet, but he was drunk (Shane McGowen)











2. Could've been a great country, but we were drunk.












1. Could've finished 7th in the Coed C League, but.....

Rotters Triumphantly Complete First Season, With A Loss

That new football/soccer club called the Royal Raleigh Rotters completed their first season with another triumphant loss. The well-groomed, spunky Rotters finished the season, 2-6-2, experiencing non-losses in nearly 50% of their games played. Two teams in the Coed C league were actually worse than the Rotters. We are loving and capable, and, dog-gone-it, people like us.

It should be pointed out that poor officiating was responsible for all Rotters losses and ties.

Some Rotters are planning on playing in the spring TASL season, while others are working busily to come up with excuses for not playing.

The Rotters parent organization, The Bloody Marys Football Club and Benevolent Drinking Society, continues to play every Sunday at about 3pm EST at Lions Park. Please come. Pete has given up on the Steelers and will thus get up off his couch and start playing again.