The Royal Raleigh Rotters Football and Beer Sport Society has embraced a new form of bar athletics-- the ancient and honorable sport of "table tennis" or "ping pong."Just as Americans turned the priggish games of rugby and cricket into the noble sports of football and baseball, the Rotters have transformed ping pong into Rotter Pong.
In Figure A, Cap'n Mike illustrates the correct stance and equipment for the new sport. Feet shoulder width apart, paddle grasped firmly in ponging hand, cigarette in non-ponging hand. Soccer cleats must, naturally, be worn at all times. But wait, you ask, cleats are not ideal, perhaps even hazardous, on the slick and hard bar floor. Ah yes, an added degree of difficult from which Rotters do not shy. Captain Mike busted his ass just after this photo was taken, and yet he ponged on with renewed vigor and determination. Yes, we have found a new way to injure ourselves.
Notice please that the beer is never held during play, but instead rests safely on the chest-high beer/ashtray shelf behind the player (beer not visible in Figure A, as it is safely in its appointed resting place).
And what are the regulations of this Rotter Pong contest? There are, of course, no rules. Occasional long quasi-legal volleys mix with frequent short and incompetent spurts of play interspersed with convivial conversation. Number of bounces are often ignored. Play is sometimes aggressive. People fall. People try to quit so they can drink beer in peace. Williford yells a lot. In short, it differs little from a Sunday game of Rotter Soccer.
Please join us every Sunday at approximately beer-thirty for Rotter Pong at the new and improve Horniblows Lounge, Somewhere, Raleigh, NC.
