Rotter National Anthem

Here are the Rotter National Anthem lyrics, as originally written. We departed somewhat from this Saturday. Learn them, live them.

Lyrics: (stream of unconsiousness)

(In the style of Johnny Rotten)

(Starts with driving bass line)

(in comes stereotypical punk guitar lick)

Rot Rot Rotters

Royal Raleigh Rotters

Rot Rot Rotters

Royal Raleigh Rotters

Feel bad on Monday

But feel good on Sunday

That's my fun day

My I don't have to run day!

(chorus)

(bridge)

My leg hurts

My knee hurts

My spleen hurts

My soul hurts!

(chorus)

Blame Lowy Blame Lowy

We play even if its snowy

Blame Lowy Blame Lowy

He sounds like David Bowie!

(chorus)

(abrupt ending, drop mike, smash your bass, vomit)

VICTORY!

Last Tuesday evening the Royal Raleigh Rotters won their final game of the Spring 2006 season 3-2 over the evil android army Diosynth. Ed Shred and Big Al Khalifa each scored slow-rolling beauties that just barely had momentum enough to make it into the Diosynth net. The third goal was one of the most beautiful, brute force scores in Rotter history, a group effort in which Kate Hate, Chris O'Shagnasty and Shred (someone correct me on who was involved if I'm wrong -- there may have been as many as ten Rotters in on the play) all converged on the ball in a massive Rotter attack and marched it past the helpless Diosynth keeper. People likened it to the '05 Steelers offensive line.

Cap'n Mike played goal first half and Sam the Invincible German played goal second half. They were heroes, allowing only one goal apiece. Diosynth were good and fast and partly British but the Rotters beat them anyway. No thanks to Jon Lowy.

This season-ending victory brought the Rotters to a mind-boggling 8-2 record, assuring them at least a 2nd place finish in the TASL Coed C standings. These and other facts were celebrated thoroughly at Horniblows after the game.

Note: Official Rotter Minister of Public Information Pete Farquhar has been too busy creating powerpoint presentations featuring Gil Dodson of late, so this report was filed by Deputy Rotter Minister of Public Information Chris Clemmons.

Lemon Mojo is a Stupid Name for a Team

The Unstoppable Royal Raleigh Rotters Dynasty won once again Tuesday night, licking their yellow opponents with a decisive 2-1 tally. Kelly continued the Rotters Women Reign of Terror with a terrific goal, and Edward J. Shred scored, despite the fact that he is a boy.

In light of the recent female scoring spree, several male Rotters are considering sex change operations to improve their soccer prowess. (Foolish ideas such as "exercise" and "quitting smoking" have been soundly rejected.)

With their phenomenal winning ways, Rotter Nation faces an existential dilemma. Should we continue winning and risk moving up to the feared Coed B League, where teams are stocked with a fearsome race of hard-kicking giants? Throw a few games and remain in the safe Coed C League? Or, really go in the tank and relegate ourselves to Coed D, where we can relax during games and save more energy for drinkin'?

Hard choices are ahead. We need The Decider.

Women Wotters Wow in Wonderful Win

The fabulous female footballers of the Royal Raleigh Rotters humiliated opponents "The Farce" with a 4-3 womanly whoppin'. Rotter Rookie Ann Scheune(wo)mann scored a spectacular hat trick with a penalty kick, a ricochet off of a fumbling Farce footballer, and a regular goal, too. Unfortunately, no one had a hat to throw, but the hats of Rotter Nation are off for young "Ann Who Can."

Danica Bananica and Kate Hate rushed from a long weekend of folkin' it up at Merlefest, and were only minutes late for the game. The Fog of Folk did not prevent Danica from scoring perhaps the most spectacular goal in Rotters history, with a looping dipping whirling flying shot that defied the laws of physics and several other sciences as well.

The men of Rotterdom had a great time running around, yelling, and occasionally kicking the ball in random directions. We do not not accept the oppressive matriarchal aggression and competitiveness that inflicts the Coed C League. We just like beer.