The Unstoppable Royal Raleigh Rotters Dynasty won once again Tuesday night, licking their yellow opponents with a decisive 2-1 tally. Kelly continued the Rotters Women Reign of Terror with a terrific goal, and Edward J. Shred scored, despite the fact that he is a boy.In light of the recent female scoring spree, several male Rotters are considering sex change operations to improve their soccer prowess. (Foolish ideas such as "exercise" and "quitting smoking" have been soundly rejected.)
With their phenomenal winning ways, Rotter Nation faces an existential dilemma. Should we continue winning and risk moving up to the feared Coed B League, where teams are stocked with a fearsome race of hard-kicking giants? Throw a few games and remain in the safe Coed C League? Or, really go in the tank and relegate ourselves to Coed D, where we can relax during games and save more energy for drinkin'?
Hard choices are ahead. We need The Decider.
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