Rotters Begin Second Season With Crushing, Spectacular Triumph

The Royal Raleigh Rotters Ancient and Honorable Football Club took the field Tuesday night full of vim, vigour, some more vim, and a few pre-game beers. They weren't full of respect for rival and sworn enemy Cinelli's.

Their ears were still ringing with the sound of Chairman Mike's pregame email. "As we stand on the verge of getting it on tonight, let us not pretend that Cinelli's is our equal. They are not. We must treat them with the contempt they have asked for by paying a large sum of money to play against us on the worst fields, with the worst referees Raleigh has to offer."

Yes, the Rotters have no respect for any league that would have them as members. As we play against each team, we play against the entire TASL super-structure and the machinery of oppression that it represents.

As the Rotters took to the field, they were delighted to find that TASL had worked hard to seed the playing surface, and it had grown to a rich and verdant green. (Yea, right.) Erin Who Can Actually Play Soccer, Jon Jon The Englishmon, and the Flying Carpenter Brothers all responded with spectacular goals. The thugs from Cinelli's could only manage a feeble two goals. As the final horn sounded, the Rotters realized that 4 was greater than 2, and that they had in fact won a game.

With tears in their eyes, the Rotters dedicated the triumph to fallen comrade Curt Gowdy, who passed away earlier this winter. Veteran Rotters will remember how we befriended Mr. Gowdy in the early 70s, when he provided the call during our epic clashes with the Cincinatti Reds. In later years, Curt would often drop by Lions Park and cheer us on as we floundered in the mud. We miss you, Curt.

The Rotters also paid fitting tribute to "The Womens," Kate Hate, Big D Danica, and Anne Who Can. The Womens only numbered three, and had to play the entire game, a feat that would have caused multiple organ failure for many a male Rotter. Here's to The Womens!!!!