Let Us Eat Squirrel

It isn't surprising that we have been challenged by the Chapel Hill Tobacco Squirrels. They have nothing to lose, and we are ancient and benevolent champions. Chris says they are mostly girls, which leads some of us to imagine something like this:



That would be intimidating, but the truth is that the tarheel lady-rats are nothing to capital city scoundrels like us. So what if they have political connections and a winning basketball team? Word is they have been talking some shit; should we take out a page in the Herald Sun? It probably only costs like $10. What else can we do but show up, crush their dreams, and rip down the unicorn posters off of their walls. We should play an upside-down Christmas tree with Hamza in goal and Suleman the lone defender. Then maybe they would learn to fear the mighty and treacherous RRR. With that said we better not lose. Especially at Lion's. . .