PATERNITY TESTS REVEALED! Lowy Blamed Again

Siberia, UK: Following banishment to Siberia, Former Royal Raleigh Rotter Jon Lowy is now being blamed for something other than the usual 'everything'. The resemblance is undeniable, and now DNA tests have proven that Mr. Lowy did in fact father the lovechild of Chris Clemmons (RRR #8), thereby making a beautiful bouncing baby su-dog. Reached for comment, the dumurring mother Clemmons had this to say, "SEE! I TOLD YOU HE WAS! Come back 007!!" The tears streamed down his face as the proud mother told of the harrowing trip across the frozen continent to see his beloved Lowy-kins.
This picture was taken by Dr. Leonid Zudenov, the doctor who delivered baby su, beard and all, just 3 months ago. Mr. Lowy is now rumored to be involved with Russian PM Vladimir Putin, as he continues his reckless romp around the planet in exile from Raleigh, NC, leaving bastard children in his wake everywhere he goes. (ed. note: is that too much? ha ha. sorry.)

In a related story, Tobin the Rotter has disappeared and this picture has been put on milk cartons nationwide to help find him. One source claims TtR was spotted in an airport waitiing for a plane to Siberia, MD. Also, Danica the Great recently had her portrait done by one of the finest swashbuckling artists in the Basque region, Sir Pablo Zubicasso.